Updated: Nov 27, 2019
As I was getting ready for my two week trip, I thought of the step by step plans for my upcoming journey away from home, from my husband Michael, and partially away from my baby girl Milena.
I had planned the entire two weeks down to every little detail.
There was something that I wasn't sharing a lot, only if someone reached out to me to ask privately. My hubby and I have been running a family business for almost four years already, which has been growing beautifully from
year to year. This is one of the reasons why we travel so much. I won`t get into too many details, long story short, we sell hair
tools at different expo events across the US.
Before we had our baby girl, we were involved equally in the business. After giving birth, I decided to take a step back and to focus more on my personal yoga and nutrition business, working from home. As our business has begun growing at a good pace, it has been very hard to find managers that we can trust (We`ve had bad experiences with three different managers). Because of this, I decided to step back in, to give my hubby a hand, even though my personal business is also growing beautifully, and my plate is already pretty much overloaded. I am a boss baby, and I know I CAN, and I just LOVE being busy, so without thinking twice, I was in!
Back to the story of my two week trip and a short version of my itinerary:
- Heading by myself to Long Beach, CA for four days for a business trip. Killing two birds with one stone - not only would I manage the business trip, but I would also get lots and lots of work done for my personal business.
- Staying in Vegas for four days for a nutrition seminar (I can`t wait to share all the awesomeness that I learned there! Coming soon..) Not only would I learn tons of new information at my seminar in Vegas, but I would keep working on my personal business. I had an enormous list of things to do.
- Coming back home for one day, switching baby shifts with hubby, and enjoying being with him for 3h before he catches a flight to NC.
- Enjoying my day off at home and celebrating my birthday, just me, myself, and I
- Dropping off Milena to the day care and heading straight to a yoga class, because it`s been a whileeee since I took someone’s class.
- Heading to a spa to get a 90 min deep tissue massage.
- Getting my hair done - BD makeover!
- Going birthday shopping.
- Picking up my baby girl from the day-care and going to a restaurant for dinner and birthday cake.
- The next day, heading to another business trip with Milena for four days in Lake Charles, LA.
- Back home for a family reunion for a day and a half before Michael leaves us again for another 5 days.
I was so excited to kick ass, and finally, for the first time in a very long time, to get so many things done that are unrelated to housekeeping, or other daily activities that we mothers just must do.
But, the Universe had other plans for me!
Here began the challenges!
Surrender, let go, slow down, just relax, dang! I kept hearing this in the back of my head. Okay! I got it! I knooooow, I must do all of that, because I `ve been sick too much recently, and in the past year in general. I get it, I take on too much and eventually I'm going to end up with nothing, or with poor quality work for all the effort that I put in. I opened my journal, and my hand began writing… So much clutter poured out onto my journal pages. I realized that I just committed to slow down and surrender, and I was so happy with my decision.
On my trip in CA, I was very sick with a cold that I had been carrying for more than two weeks. To rest and relax at every possible chance was the best choice that I'd recently made. On my way to Las Vegas, I felt much better, but my body still hadn't had enough. In Vegas, I decided to keep resting whenever I had a chance and not overload myself more than I already had.
By the time I had to come back home, I was feeling much better and stronger. I was super excited to squeeze my loves, and I was thrilled to celebrate my birthday by myself! YAS! Not kidding! I was very excited for that! This would be my second year in a row to celebrate my BD solo.
The moment I landed in Austin, just a bit before midnight, our captain announced that he saw an explosion as we were landing and that the entire airport was shut down, so we couldn't leave the aircraft ‘till. God knows when.
Great! I hope at least I`ll be able to see Michael before his flight.
I didn't expect it would take me more than two hours to get home from the moment I landed.
I was lucky enough to catch Michael 30 - minutes before he needed to leave for the airport.
Michael surprised me with a huge 36- rose bouquet for my 36th birthday. I was so tired and exhausted that I completely forgot that it was my birthday already.
As my sleep cycle was already interrupted, I had a hard time falling asleep, even though I was beyond tired. I slept for maybe 4 hours as I jumped out of bed hearing my baby's cry.
I ran upstairs to her room. She looked horrible, all red and irritated. I picked her up, and I was shocked. The baby was burning! She was running a 104 degree fever!
Welcome back home, Mommy, and Happy Birthday!
Did you think I'd let you spend your birthday by yourself!?
I missed my baby girl so, so much that half of the day I even didn't care it was my birthday. I didn `t answer many calls, all I wanted was to keep squeezing her, and make her feel better. The fever skyrocketed again around noon, so I quickly scheduled an appointment to take her to the doctor. She didn`t seem to be sick., She had so much energy that day, and I wasn't even able to put her down for the nap, that I had been waiting for, and I was hoping to take a nap with her as I barely slept the night before and felt drained.
The doctor didn`t find any symptoms of a flu. He only mentioned that one of her ears was slightly red, and she might be developing an ear infection. Sweet! Right before our business trip together.
Milena was also pretty moody the entire day, and by the evening, I was crying from body ache and exhaustion. I had been soooo looking forward to getting a massage and pamper myself a little (Well, a lot! I deserve it!) that day! My baby still didn`t feel good, I was overtired again, and my birthday was over!
I felt very sad, very, very sad! I didn`t even journal my birthday wishes as I do every year. The only thing that I asked before falling asleep was: I want good health., I`m tired of being sick!
The next morning, Milena still had a fever, and I found myself running like maniac around the house, getting ready for our business trip, and trying to give her as much attention as I could. I hate traveling during the winter time; it's so complicated and overwhelming to pack! I left the house in a total mess, with a sink full of dirty dishes, scattered clothes all over the house, etc.
During our 3 hour’s drive to Houston`s airport to pick up five employees, Milena began running a fever again, and had a major poop explosion. I couldn`t find where to stop on the crazy busy Houston highway. So, I decided to speed up and to make it as fast as possible to the airport while Milena was just totally losing it!
As we finally got to the restrooms at the airport, I began to panic and shake! I`d never faced something like this before. The baby pooped herself so badly that her poop was in her hair! I began to undress her., Everything was covered in poop. The poor baby was screaming and burning from the fever.
I threw away her clothes in the garbage and began showering her in the restroom`s sink. Both of us were shaking. She was cold from the fever, I was flaming burning up from nervousness and anxiety. Ten minutes later, everything calmed down, and we hit the road for another 3h to Lake Charles, LA. By the time we arrived to Lake Charles, it was already past 7pm., We left our home around 10:30am. Literally five minutes before we got to our destination, we hit serious traffic. I had been driving over 7h with an overloaded car full of merchandise, and people`s luggage who had flown from all across the states, a sick baby, and a very hungry me! All I ate throughout the day was nuts, energy bars, and water. As we stood in the traffic, I saw another line next to us completely empty, and I didn’t get why no one was driving there. It was super dark and cold outside., We had to make it to the convention center to set up our booth for the next day’s event. Without thinking, I move to the empty line, and a few seconds later, a cop`s car showed up on the other side of the road, and I saw it chasing after me. Five minutes before we got to our destination! With all the stress that I had been dealing with the entire day, I attracted a true motherfucker that fined me for everything he possibly could! My team told me that people in Louisiana are very racist and as he heard my accent, he began behaving more rude. I don`t know if that's true, but he did a good job showing off and being a real dick!
Two hours later, we finally made it to the hotel.
Milena was running a fever of 105.4 degrees, and I was panicked as never before. She was exhausted and fell asleep right away. I didn't want to bother her anymore that day, as I saw the fever slowly going down., I waited until it was completely normal and went to rest.
The next day her fever was again 105.3 degrees, and we ended up in the ER. Poor baby girl had an ear infection. We got antibiotics, and the day afterward, the baby was like brand new, but.. Mommy was is sick again!
On Monday, all of our family was back home for a day and a half reunion before Michael hit the road for another week away from home. I was putting so many projects aside, again, and going for another round of antibiotics and natural remedies to strengthen my immune system and to heal myself. What a beautiful journey, lol..!
So, how do you deal with a reality completely different than what you planned or hoped for?
Change of direction, frustration, and disappointment are not easy to deal with, but it is absolutely possible if you choose to.
. When I face a series of unpleasant events, the moment I become aware of them, I know the problem is me! Therefore, only I can solve them.
Before I begin freaking out, complaining, or whining,; “Why?? Why does this have to happen to me?” (Which I absolutely do, but much, much less than I used to!). Awareness, is crucial here.
Complaining, blaming, and feeling sorry for yourself are only gonna take you backwards from where you are heading.
When I find myself in these kinds of situations, I first choose to disconnect from the outer world and connect inward, so I can find the right answers to all my problems and disappointments. I constantly try to train myself, to work on my awareness. How do I choose to react and what are the consequences from my reaction going to be?. Acknowledging, seeing, and sensing what is around you and accepting not only the glory of life but the challenges, beyond our comfort zone as well is what is gonna take us a step farther. At the same time, we must be careful of what we are accepting in our reality as it is, see how you can define it and attaching meaning to it.
Maybe our reality isn `t bad at all. It is our attitude that is bad and it’s taking us to a completely different direction than our desires. A lot of us end up defining reality in a negative way, when truly our reality is extraordinary, and it's abundant, and magical, and powerful (This is how I define it my reality). This is what I strive to experience every day, and if I find myself on a different track, I take my time to redefine again.
All of us have got this power within us, to shift, change, choose again, etc. I find journaling always helps me reconnect with my life values and purpose.
Our own will and decisions allow us to change the perception of own reality any time we choose to, and that is what gives us an extraordinary personal power in life but also can really challenge us if we are not careful about it.
It`s so easy to fall into our own traps and say ; “My reality is bad,” “ Nothing ever goes the way I want it,” and being our own victims and blaming the entire world instead of ourselves.
It`s very easy to shift and change our reality into things we believe are true when they aren`t necessary. Our own beliefs and faith that can get us in trouble.
It's time to fire up your awareness, time to change what you`re paying attention to, time to change your focal area, and your definitions of what your life and future is. Create time to redefine your reality when you`re feeling it doesn`t go in the direction you want.
Ask yourself questions to get your breakthroughs: - What does it mean to me? - How can I change what I don`t like? - How can I figure this out? - How can I shape my reality?
Take action! Redefine your routines, your thoughts, the relationships your choose to have, work you choose to do.
You have the power to shift, to shape, to create, and to generate the reality you want to live in. How would your highest self take this reality?
Accepted it, acknowledge it, and then transform it, and utilize it to generate the reality you want!
That is what will give that personal power.
That is what will help you to accept the negative and will help you to shape your future positive.
You will find yourself feeling a different level of control, joy, acknowledgment, appreciation, and acceptance of what is as you will continue to shape what you desire. I hope this will serve you.
Thank you for reading! XO, Liel.